


Guessing Dad

by nevernevergirl



Series: head full of doubt, road full of promise [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 23:20:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevernevergirl/pseuds/nevernevergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as he can remember, Henry's mom has told him his father was dead. He's not so sure he believes that's true.</p>
<p>Post S3 Winter Finale, during Emma and Henry's year together. Implied past Emma/Neal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guessing Dad

Every night just before he falls asleep, for as long as he can remember, Henry's tried to imagine what his dad must have been like.

He calls it Guessing Dad in his head, and he never, ever tells his mom, because he hates that sad look her eyes get-- the one she gets when he does something he knows must reminder her of him, like last week at Burger Heaven when he asked for no mayo. 

He remembers asking her about him a long time ago, and she just lied anyway. She'd told him his dad was a fireman, and that he died saving a family before Henry was born, and that wasn't true. Mom can always tell when someone's lying, and maybe he got that from her, because he  _knew_  that wasn't true. But he pretends for her anyway. 

He knows it would makes sense if it were something bad, because he knows Mom hates it when he's disappointed, even though he's 12 now and knows he could take it. He knows she doesn't like that she doesn't have any other family to give him, even though Henry doesn't see why he'd need anyone else. He knows what Mom looks like when she's trying to protect him. 

It could be something bad. But he doesn't think it is. It's a feeling he has. 

Mom gives him little clues. Henry used to ask what Dad was like, when he was little, and Mom wouldn't say much, but she always played his music. The Velvet Underground and Bowie and T. Rex and Lou Reed's later stuff. He knows Dad hated the Pixies, because sometimes Where is My Mind comes up on shuffle and she'll grin a little and one time she said  _your dad threatened to kick me out of the car once if I didn't get this crap out of his stereo_  and turned it up extra loud, singing off key along with it. 

Henry likes the Pixies, but Lou Reed's his favorite. He decides Lou Reed was probably Dad's favorite too. 

Sometimes mom reads Kerouac when she's sad. Not very often, which is how he figures it must have something to do with Dad. He borrows On the Road once before she knows it's missing, because he knows he's probably not old enough to read it yet and doesn't want a lecture. He doesn't read the whole thing because he gets sort of bored at the way its written, but he traces his fingers over Dean Moriarty's name and imagines his dad doing the same. 

He knows Mom's had their little yellow bug since before he was born, and that she won't get rid of it, not even when it broke down three times the year he was nine, not even when they move to New York and keeping a car parked is expensive. He knows Dad must have been in this car, too.

He huddles under his covers at night after Mom tucks him in, even thought he's  _12_  and doesn't need her to, he thinks it might make her sad if he ever asked her not to, and Henry hates when she's sad. He curls up in a ball and he closes his eyes tight and thinks about how maybe his dad was a writer, taking Mom across the country in the little yellow bug as he searched for inspiration, or maybe a musician, playing Lou Reed covers in tiny clubs across the flyover states while Mom watched in the wings.

He doesn't try to guess what happened to him, because then he might start thinking about how he could come back. Henry might be a kid, but he stopped believing in Santa Claus years ago, and he knows his dad showing up at their door is about as likely as an old guy in a red suit making his way down the chimney. He's not stupid; he knows false hope when he sees it.

But he plays his guessing game anyway. Because a  _little_  hope can't hurt, right?


End file.
